Miah’s Personal Personal Blog

when would these tears stop from falling in my eyes…  getting so emo these days… urrgghh!!! i always told myself that i can do this… but i still can’t… what is so freaking wrong with me?!! hayz…

It’s supposed to be our 94th monthsary today… I remember he would call when the clock hits 12 and he would sing me a song… hay… memories… just can’t totally erase it all…

Happy… I am feeling not so happy… I wanna be happy… You make me not so happy… Can´t you see I’m not happy now…

Sounds familiar? It’s from Square Heads’ ‘Happy.’ I just changed the lyrics and added the ‘not’ word… Coz I’m not happy… though I wanna be happy… Waaaahhh!!!

I just can’t find myself being happy… I received my Google Adsense earnings yesterday, I should be happy right? The feeling was just like it’s a normal thing that happen so often, though it isn’t. I waited one year for this and I was like ‘Oh, okay, I’ll be receiving my payment’ like nothing’s special about it.

Hay… still keep on thinking about him…  and I just can’t take him off my mind!!!

Meet with my friends after receiving my money, Janed’s back in Davao again after four months of staying in Manila. Then we eat dinner… was really trying to be happy around them… I enjoyed being with them for a while though and I’m glad we met again after a long time, missed them a lot…

Janed told me to forget him na… I just hope I can… 

Official naman talaga, why would he put it in his profile if it isn’t? C’mon miah, you’re just hurting yourself again! I hate you! I hate this feeling! Seems like it won’t go away… as in far far away… Waaahhh!!! I hate this… Emo emo again… I was happy for a while because I will be receiving my very first payment in adsense… but then, one of our common friend was online and we have a li’l chit chat… and yeah she told me… he told her… aarrggghhh!!! What would I do now… what would I do to not feel this way…. I hate myself! I hate myself! I hate myself! 

Yeah, feel so bored! I hate it when our interconnection’s like this, oh so S-L-O-W… Can’t surf other websites, the only site I have access right now, is Plurk but no one seems to be online there too, guess almost all of us have the same dilemma. Opened my Google mail, Facebook’s Restaurant City and Mafia Wars too, the only application I can open, can’t access Texas Hold’Em Poker… Hmm.. What else? I played Monster Hunter Freedom 2 in PSP and killed some Blangos but wasn’t able to kill that giant and scary Blangonga. It moved so fast and I just can’t beat it, for now… Hehehe… I know I’m gonna beat it too just like the Khezu, it took me more than five times before I was able to kill it, hahaha…

Hhmmm… and yeah, i open my mail in Facebook and received a reply from my sister, I told her the other day that the ticket’s she gave me will expire on the 25th of this month! Yeah, hmm.. today’s 24, so that means it will expire tomorrow! Arrgghh… Sayang… If I haven’t deleted a few of my photos on my Friendster account, I wouldn’t remember about the tickets that she gave me last Christmas. Anyways, I’m still happy though because she told me that she issued a new set of tickets for me again,! Yippeeee!! Two sets of tickets! One is a business class and the other one is economy… Hmmm… I really hope that I could use those tickets this time and I hope there will be a direct Cathay Pacific flights from Davao to Hong Kong, lolz. So that I wouldn’t have to buy a Davao to Manila tickets anymore…

Anyways, I hope this post will go through and after posting this, I’m gonna watch a movie, Aeon Flux. I’ve watched What Happens in Vegas a few minutes ago before I did go online, again. I came back coz I thought the connection might be okay now but it seems not so, gonna bid farewell now… I’ll watch a movie again, hoping I’ll doze off afterwards… Nah… Goodluck! LOL…